End of an era

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 00:44:15 GMT

It's been an interesting few days and a major milestone for our family. On Monday Chris reached his 18th Birthday, and suddenly I'm no longer a single parent with children! OK Matt and Chris will always be my children, but technically if not practically they're now on their own in the world. From my own point of view it's been a time of looking back at the last 19 years with a mixture of incredulity, pride, laughs and tears. It's also reminded me of what's important in being a single parent. I once thought that the most important single task was to prepare the boys with the knowledge and skills to become happy members of society. While that's a vital task, never to be forgotten, it's a shared responsibility with society itself. A parent and family, however, are the only source of information for children on who they are and where they come from.

The last couple of years have been a time of a lot of self-examination, and finally at the age of 46 I know who I am. I don't mean a single parent, twice divorced, journalist in Cheshire - I mean why I'm twice divorced, why bringing up two boys single handed was more important to me than using a brand new degree, and what makes me the person I am. Like anyone else I'm a product of my lifetime's experiences, with a hint of my parents and where they came from. As the only living member of our family, as well as their sole parent, it falls to me to show them their roots. I know little of my own parents, and have never seen a photograph of them under the age of 45, which has always been a regret. In a courtroom in Manchester nearly oyed with the idea of 18 years ago I made a silent promise that these two babies I was asking to be allowed to care for that they would never go through my childhood, and now both have reached adulthood all that remains is to tell them the full story of where they come from.

The idea of sitting down and trying to go through the years one by one with two teenagers was a non starter, and anyway taking a life chronologically misses what makes a life. Actions in my forties have been born from seeds planted well before I reached double figures, and illusions carried for decades only showed their true nature when it was too late. Putting it down in writing is an option but opens up a whole new question. To say it's been an interesting time over the last 46 years is an understatement, with 1960s Childrens Homes, Public School,two divorces and being a single Dad in Thatchers Britain. Now to explain it successfully for Matt and Chris means doing the job properly and taking the time to put the links together in a readable form, and yes a part of me does wonder what others would make of it. So the next few days will be spent considering the idea.

Dave Mycroft: Personal

End of an era