A small matter of 80 years ago a climber by the name of George Leigh Mallory explained his reasons for climbing Everets as "because it's there" and the remark went down in history. Well these days the old cliche of "because it's there" just doesn't do. It seems now that you have to do it for a cause, or even better for a record. We've had the youngest, the oldest, father and son, husband and wife, highest marriage, highest gold shot, hishest helicopter landing and now the highest mobile phone call!! What's all that about then/ Now everyone knows I'm no technophobe and I love my gadgets even more than the average acne covered teen nerd - but wtf do you need to phone home for from the top of the world?? It's not even as if you've got the job done! The summit of Chomolungma is half the journey, and there's an even better chance you'll perish on the way down than on the way up. Surely climbing a mountain is not about telling the world - it's about the personal feeling you get from it. It seems these days though that personal achievement counts for little and all that matters is the Max Cliffors School of Tell the World How Great You Are.

 

To me technology is there to help, not as an accessory to publicity. Mobile phones do have a place on the hill, as do GPS receivers - but they're there to aid in the journey not to justify it. You won't see Dutch climber Vim Hwalf carrying a sack full of electronics up the mountain - in fact he's taking lightweight to the extreme. Known as ‘Him Manav’ ( the snow man ) this guy is the latest in the line of record breakers - but at least he is doing something different. This year he's climber to 24,248ft on the world's highest peak, and next year he's going back to finish the job. Now there's nothing unusual in that, you may think, but this guy is doing it in shorts and T Shirt!! He's some sort of biological freak whose body works in the opposite way to most peoples - with his heart rate decreasing and core body temperature increasing when subjected to the cold. Last year he went for a barefoot wander around the Antarctic.

 

Back home  in Muddle Earth there's been a few comings and goings. Maxwell  went overboard, presumably thinking everyone who smoked was Mandy in disguise, but this time the fusilade richoched and hit his self destruct button - or was that the ejector seat. With the terror of the red tops now demised we may just see the return of Babe and The Hairy One as people have started to realise the effects of feeding Trolls and are missing their dose of sanity. Top Heart has taken up the mantle of the missing Maxwell, though it may mean fisticuffs with the The Washer (you never get all the socks out you expect) for title of bottom dog. It seems that these days you don't even hae to leave the armchair to join the Max Clifford School - just pick a subject and rant enough and you'll get more attention than an ADHD sufferer.  In a perverse way we've even seen The Washer now change tack by 180 degrees from "I don't find them of any interest" to reading every word of a blog in the hope he can find a chink of weakness to exploit in his Darth Vader style attempt to eliminate any who care to oppose his views. Surprise surprise it even emerges that far from finding them of no interest he's an acknowledged - well in his own mind anyway, fellow devotee!

 

Maybe poor old George Leigh iif asked today would say not "Because it's there" but "because there I can be it" or "because if I don't it'll be my fault, and if I do it'll be my fault so why the hell not".